At long last, I'm back and on track. Looking back at 2011, I just didn't have my head on straight. It's all a blur. In 2010, I lost 25 pounds. It was a nice, steady loss. Then Dad died, and my weight loss halted. It was the same time that I lost my business, and 'lost' a sibling through a disagreement. It was more than I could handle at once, and I think my life just went through the motions for the next year. 2011 had it's Ups - like my son graduating from high school, but overall there was a general cloud of sadness. By the end of December, I had gained back 17 pounds of the 25 lost, and I felt so unhealthy. My general feeling of wellness was rock bottom.
I hate 'New Years Resolutions' because I feel like I should be living with that zest all year long, not just at the start of the year. But really, I should be thankful for that annual excitement, and be glad that the buzz of it all kick starts me in to motion every twelve months. This year, I started losing weight again and as of Jan 19th, I've lost 8 pounds! That is a record for me. Pre-Hysterectomy, I could lose like that, but I've not done that in years. I'm happy! I started back to Weight Watchers, and I've really embraced the plan. I'm not doing it by the law of the plan, but by the spirit of the plan. That makes a world of difference.
I should also mention that I started on an anti-depressant after Christmas. It's not fair to make it look like I magically got my mojo back and 'you can too!' when there is something behind the curtain. I know it took ME to make it want to happen, but I was able to see that I needed help. The loneliness is still there - I will never get back what I lost, but I'm able to put one foot in front of the other with more Oomph and less tears, and that has made a big difference. And thanks to Mom, because she told me and showed me by example, that my life continues regardless of the past, and I have to be strong enough to make it better.
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